I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize