Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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