We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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