So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
