I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
