The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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