I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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