wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
