my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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