I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
What a dumb baby whore.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
