I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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