just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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