Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize