Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
