I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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