Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
