You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't think brook has ever known best
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
