the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
