guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Someone signed my nipple.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
