please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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