I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
