he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
