I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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