Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
