3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
