you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
