I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
