She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
