The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
