i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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