is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
