I must be too annoying 4 u.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize