When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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