two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
