I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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