Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
