Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
