Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
