your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize