White coat. Heels.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
