new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
