thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
