Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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