My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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