my vag is so smooth its legendary
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
