I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
ok first of all what the fuck
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