those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
