He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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