so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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