There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
