big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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