forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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