I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize