I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
