Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
