So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
