I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
