I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
