i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
