This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
